THE MANIFESTO
Fellow Americans,
After careful consideration (approximately 3.7 seconds of deep thought while on the toilet), I have decided to found The American Party. Why? Because clearly, what America needs is another billionaire with strong opinions about everything.
Our platform is simple:
- 🚀 Mars for Everyone: Every American deserves a backup planet. It's in the Constitution (probably).
- 🤖 AI Governance: Why have human politicians when we can have neural networks that actually learn from their mistakes?
- ⚡ Hyperloop Highways: Traffic jams are so 20th century. Let's shoot people through tubes at 600 mph!
- 🐦 Free Speech Absolutism: Everyone gets to tweet whatever they want, even if it crashes the stock market.
- 💰 Dogecoin Standard: The dollar is boring. Much currency. Very stable. Wow.
I founded this party because traditional politics moves too slowly. While Congress debates for months, I could have already colonized three asteroids and invented a new form of sustainable energy powered by pure memes.
Our campaign slogan:"Yes, I can."
Because I kinda liked Obama — mostly for the merch — until I realized he wasn’t into rockets. So I flirted with the other crazy guy for the chaos and tax breaks, but ultimately came to the obvious conclusion:
I’m better than both.
I mean — "Yes, we can" was nice and all, but a little too team-oriented.
"Yes, I can" just hits different. More honest. More alpha. More... me.
Can I run a car company, a space company, a satellite network, and a nation simultaneously?
Yes, I can.
Can I meme my way through foreign policy?
Yes, I can.
Can I build tunnels to avoid traffic caused by my own fanbase?
Also yes.
This isn’t politics as usual. This is politics with a launchpad, a crypto wallet, and mild-to-moderate delusions of grandeur. And let’s be honest — after watching the last two guys?
You'd rather roll the dice on a space nerd.
Yes, I can. And frankly, who else will?
Together, we will make America the first interplanetary democracy, where every citizen gets a Neuralink chip and a complimentary flamethrower. Because if you're not living dangerously, you're not living at all.
Sincerely yours in innovation,
Elon Musk
Founder, The American Party
Chief Meme Officer
Self-Proclaimed Technoking of America